The beginning of a new adventure in McLeod

We officially made it back to mountains early Monday (17th) morning. We moved in with families that morning, each with a different family and a different set-up. Last time I was in a well off family- I even had my own room and bathroom upstairs. The family had four generations in the house- a grandmother, the parents, three kids, and two grandkids. This time, I am in a smaller house with only two generations, two brothers, one’s wife, and their five year old son. The family is so welcoming and are constantly saying, “Melissa, this is your house, anything you need, you ask brother or sister.” They are SO quick to laugh and it’s been so much fun. The five year old has so much energy and although he and I can’t communicate verbally he uses his hands, arms, and whole body to make movements and many times I think I understand what he is saying.

It’s been fascinating to me to be in a small house. The front room is used as the entertainment room (with the tv), the reading room, the dining room, the bedroom, the conversation room, and even a classroom. It is a universal room and I never realized just how much use can come from such a small area. It makes sense that so many Tibetans find this easy, as many were nomads who lived in large tents. My family has shown me pictures of their land and village in Amdo (north east region of Tibet). You can see forever! They said it’s nice to be able to look and look and only see nature, not houses and people all over.

Some of my favorite moments so far with my family have been working on their English. One of the brothers speaks English really well and the first day he was translating back and forth for the other two and me. He told me they were learning English. One of the mornings the wife was practicing quietly to herself and I said, “Practicing English? Sounds very good.” She motioned for me to come over and when I did she sat right next to me and we started reading her book together. Her pronunciation was fantastic! I realized that even though they had said their English was not good, it was actually quite good, they were just too shy to speak. We started practicing and now every morning the husband, wife and I practice every morning. It has been so much fun, as even when we can’t understand we just end up laughing.

It has been really fascinating for me to read along in their book, see what phrases and words have been deemed “most important” for Tibetans to learn in English. There are three phrases that one of the brothers has been practicing that I think reveal not only a lot about him, but about Tibetan culture in general. For those of you back home, if you had to learn important phrases in another language, what ones would you find most important, or most useful? What phrases do you use most often in English? Now, I am not saying that these particular phrases are the most important phrases in Tibetan, nor that every Tibetan would find these phrases to be the most important. But I think they do say something about the situation I am currently living in. The three phrases my brother has been practicing: “It’s up to you.” “I don’t mind.” “I’m just kidding.” Very interesting, at least to me with my experiences with Tibetans. Their hospitality, their emphasis on others, and their easiness to laugh are three of the traits that have stuck out the most to me and each is embedded in one of these phrases.

This week I also couldn’t help but think about the simplicity of life. I never have to set an alarm here. I go to bed earlier (around ten) and then as the sun comes up I just wake up on my own. People here live more naturally and by default I think it’s more natural to go to bed earlier and wake up with the sun. No need for alarm clocks. Also, with simpler, smaller houses, there just isn’t much clutter, if any at all. It seems like it is a symbol not only for their material, physical lives, but also for their personal, inside lives. They just don’t seem to let as many things clutter their lives. They do not get as bothered. The idea of a gym has always made me think about how silly this concept would have seemed to our ancestors. “You mean you have to go here to push iron and run in place? Why would you do that?” Hard, manual labor used to be the way things were done. Man sowed and man reaped in the fields. Nowadays, this is not the case, so we have to create seemingly “unnatural” things, such as gyms, in order to stay in shape. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that I do not like going to the gym, or that I am not attached to my material possessions, nor am I saying that I have the intention of giving them up. But it just makes sense that the more natural and simple you live, the easier and simpler life can be.

Well, that sums up a few of my thoughts for this week. Hopefully I’ll get some pictures for the next one.

Football match

Ok, so enough philosophizing for now. Let’s talk about something more of the folks back home will care about- sporting events! I attended my first football match in India on Saturday evening. It was a match between the “Tibetan National Team” (not sure exactly what that means though… exile national team?) and “an Indian Football Club.” It was a walk from the main area to the “field” (a big dirt arena looking space at the biggest school in the area, TCV), but hundreds, if not thousands had turned up for the match. Now most events that go on in McLeod are often full of westerners and tourists. I don’t know if the locals just aren’t as interested in the events going on as foreigners or if they don’t have time, etc, but again, many of the events are crawling with foreigners. But, for this event, there were hardly any westerners present- the stadium was loaded with locals, mostly Tibetans.

The match was a charity match (as indicated by the chalked circle in the center of the field, reading “Yushu Charity Match”) and all the entry donations made were doing to help the victims of the earthquake in the Tibetan area of China just a short time ago (see this http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8619135.stm for more information). With all the people attending, they must have made a lot of money, money that was all going to the victims of the earthquake. Very cool. And really says something about these people I am living amongst.

So I’m sure people would wonder, what is a football match like in India? How is it different? I hate to be disappointing, but any words that I will use to describe the match could probably be used to describe almost any other sporting event. The crowd cheered with gusto as players made great plays, booed at the errors and faulty plays, made noises to distract the other team, and laughed at the silly errors of both times (although I think laughter comes much easier and louder for Tibetans). Some things, including crowd reactions at sporting events, seem to be universal, and the same everywhere. Little kids mimicked the cool moves the players did, people yelled out at the players, gave side commentaries like “nice play!” people ate snacks, and did many of the exact same things I have done at sporting events. I think one of the only moments that I was aware that I was in India was when a cow made an entrance onto the field in the middle of the match. The crowd roared with laughter as the cow ran through the stadium. I never have seen something like that in the states.

Goal! And the crowd goes wild!

At the end, the players from both teams gathered in the center and appeared to shake hands (much like our “high five” “good game” huddles). Then all the players made a big circle and waved to the crowd, maybe as if to say thanks for coming and goodbye (I’m not sure).

A quirky moment happened right after. A man who I had noticed before (he had a big shaggy beard, not common among Tibetans, and a big pair of sunglasses) ran down to the field and started dancing. People watched and laughed loudly at him. As he continued, a crowd of young kids came down to watch him and gathered around him.

He even climbed the goal post and goofed around. It just made me stop and wonder, would we have the same reaction to a goofy man at the end of a match? Would have the same reaction, just watch and laugh? Or just think man, that guy had way too much to drink during the match?

(He's the man to the far right, in the green shirt with sunglasses)

And yes, even monks enjoying watching the football match!

“Excuse me, first time to India?”

This was a question my driver asked me on the drive from the airport to the guest house I was staying at. I don’t know why, but the question struck me in a peculiar way. I answered with the answer he was looking for, “No, second time. I came a few years ago.” But as for the answer to myself, I was not satisfied. In the physical sense yes, I have been to India before. But even in those first few hours in my return to India I already felt so differently about this country that I was in less than two years ago. How could I feel so differently?

In many ways, I feel like it is my first time seeing so many things in India. I feel different here this time. Maybe it is because it seems familiar in some ways. I feel confident enough to walk around and see new things, to talk to people I’ve never meet, to bargain for a ride or something in a shop. This was far from the truth until the very end of my trip last time. But I’m also noticing different things. I know how some things work in India… but I also am fully aware that I don’t know how most other things work in India. I studied more about India and Indian culture before coming this time. I am here to study not only the Tibetan population and culture here, but the Indian population and culture as well. I also know enough to know that to even say “Indian population” or “Indian culture” is such a loaded statement (for how do you use two words to describe one nation with over 20 national languages; with over 20 states each with very distinct cultures; with five religions that have had a heavy influence on the nation; and not only thousands of years of history, but thousands of years of history that has left vivid imprints that still exist in the land today?).

I truly feel like my eyes are more open this time, more open to the real “India,” the India that is not just a young American’s first experience abroad, but a real, breathing, moving country with so much history, depth, and experience.

The Good and the Bad

My lingering cold has left me with less energy than normal so I decided to take it easy the other night. I stayed in and watched a movie and flipped through some pictures from India. I looked at the pictures of India that some of my fellow group members had posted. I saw still images of a few things I have not forgotten, for I don’t think I ever could. But I also saw a few things that I guess I just haven’t really thought about since starting a job and trying “move on” with life. These images really hit me. They took me back to those moments and experiences, almost instantaneously.

It’s been the weirdest thing coming back from the India experience. I knew it was going to be a life changing experience. But no matter how we try to prepare for these experiences, no matter how much we know it will change our lives, we can never comprehend the affects of these experiences until after. Even now, months after, I’m still not sure I really comprehend just how much the experience has changed it.

So back to the pictures, looking at some of these pictures I was reminded of some of the hard things in India. Some of the pictures of beggars made me think about the constant, daily turmoil I had with facing them. It made me think of the two beggar women that I passed every day on my walk from my host family’s house to the market. One of the beggars was always kinda grumpy, sometimes rude. The other always with a bright beautiful smile, always saying good morning, some mornings even asking other questions and talking with me. This second woman actually never asked for money. I wrote about her at one point, even in this blog. I had always meant to sit down and talk with her, spend more time with her, but I never did. By the time I finally meant to sit down with her, she had moved some where else.

A lot of people talk about how they have no regrets. I don’t think I really believe that, at least not in the way I look at the word regret. To me, regret means you wish you had done something different. I think because we are human, we will make mistakes. I think because we are human we feel bad about those mistakes. I guess this idea of “having no regrets” doesn’t mean that you don’t wish you’d done something different or that you don’t feel bad, but simply that you have accepted the mistakes and moved on. If nothing else you learned the lessons from those moments and choices and have bettered yourself because of it.

In thinking about the beggars, I wish I had done a few things differently. I wish I had taken better advantage of talking to some people. I wish I had handled some situations better. I wish I understood the things I do now about the experience. But the fact that I made mistakes doesn’t mean I have regrets. I learned so much about myself, so much about the world, so much about life. I have pondered a lot on the mistakes and glories and I am learning to face them all at the same time, to see them work together to create a beautiful picture. When people ask me questions about India, I’m trying to paint them that picture, the ones of my hopes and disappointments, the one of my best and not so best moments, the dark and the light, the good and the bad. This picture itself is like a metaphor of India, a country that doesn’t hide its garbage, that doesn’t hid its poor, that’s doesn’t hid its decaying buildings, that doesn’t even hid the dead. But it also doesn’t hide its good, it doesn’t hide its beauty, it doesn’t hide its history, its friendliness, its curiosity, its traditions, its culture. These pictures remind me of this, of this lesson I learned in India, that sometimes the most beautiful things show the good and the bad, all at the same time.

I had been warned that coming home sometimes the culture shock of coming back home is worse than in the field. I wouldn’t say that mine was worse, but I can definitely say that there was some reentering shock. I was coming back to a world I knew and loved and feel so comfortable in. While my country hadn’t changed, I had. The first few weeks, and maybe even months I struggled with where I fit into the world. I am still an American, and still grateful for all the things that are mine because I am American. But after seeing the things I did, after experiencing the things I did, I don’t completely see things the way many other Americans do, the way that I saw things before. I have learned to come to terms with that good and bad, of myself, of the world, of life. I feel like I see things differently and although it was hard at first, I’m now seeing the beauty and wonders it can bring to see both the good and bad at the same time.

Graduation

My mom, brother and I went up to Provo for the graduation ceremony a few weeks ago. It was quite the interesting experience. Partly due to the fact that I haven't sat in a classroom at BYU in almost a year. My traditional education ended last summer so it seemed strange to be on campus again. But it was also great closure, a great wrap up to 4 years of my life. I feel like it really did end, like my experience came to a proper end.

I posted pictures on facebook, where more people look than here. But I'm putting a few on here as well, as I make a few comments about the experience. Because it is BYU, there was of course a different atmosphere especially with the speakers being Pres. Uchtdorf and Elder Nelson. Pres. Uchtdorf received an honorary degree. When he spoke he laughed and said he felt to blessed and lucky to receive such an honor without going through the hours and hours of work, testing, etc and without having to face a panel of professors whose sole purpose it was to prove he didn’t know something. Unfortunately I did not have a pen to take notes with (which is very unlike me), but I do want to mention a few things I remember. First, all speakers, including Pres. Samuelson, the student speaker, etc. , talked about how at BYU we have gained both a secular and spiritual knowledge. This is something that as students at BYU we realize, but I guess having not taken classes in a year, it was something that reminded me. Elder Nelson shared a story that particularly stressed this point.

Elder Nelson told us a story about when he was in South America. He said they were a big group of doctors out in a mountainous village when one of the other doctors started bleeding from the stomach. He said here we were, a huge group of doctors, who had spent our life studying this, yet there was nothing any of us could do, because we were over a hundred miles from a hospital with the equipment we needed. It seemed as though he would die. The man was LDS and asked for a blessing. Elder Nelson gave the blessing and said when he blessed him he felt to bless him to live. Right after the blessing the man stopped bleeding, and of course, did live. Elder Nelson went on to say that knowledge is good and wonderful, but it can only go so far. Sometimes knowledge alone will not get us through certain experiences.

Also, most alluded to the fact that these are trying economic times. I remember thinking, gee, thanks for the reminder, but I suppose its important to mention as we will all probably get discouraged as we hunt for jobs and what not. I don’t remember who, but someone also said that it’s not about what we majored in or what we learned, but what we become in this life. What that knowledge, what that career does to help us become something. I really enjoyed that, and felt it to be of particular importance since I’m still trying to decide where to go from here.

Easter Sunday

"Brothers and sisters, one of the great consolations of this Easter season is that because Jesus walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so. His solitary journey brought great company for our little version of that path—the merciful care of our Father in Heaven, the unfailing companionship of this Beloved Son, the consummate gift of the Holy Ghost, angels in heaven, family members on both sides of the veil, prophets and apostles, teachers, leaders, friends. All of these and more have been given as companions for our mortal journey because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the Restoration of His gospel. Trumpeted from the summit of Calvary is the truth that we will never be left alone nor unaided, even if sometimes we may feel that we are. Truly the Redeemer of us all said, “I will not leave you comfortless. [My Father and] I will come to you [and abide with you].”20 (John 14:18, 23.)

My other plea at Easter time is that these scenes of Christ’s lonely sacrifice, laced with moments of denial and abandonment and, at least once, outright betrayal, must never be reenacted by us. He has walked alone once. Now, may I ask that never again will He have to confront sin without our aid and assistance, that never again will He find only unresponsive onlookers when He sees you and me along His Via Dolorosa in our present day. As we approach this holy week—Passover Thursday with its Paschal Lamb, atoning Friday with its cross, Resurrection Sunday with its empty tomb—may we declare ourselves to be more fully disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, not in word only and not only in the flush of comfortable times but in deed and in courage and in faith, including when the path is lonely and when our cross is difficult to bear. This Easter week and always, may we stand by Jesus Christ “at all times and in all things, and in all places that [we] may be in, even until death,”21 (Mosiah 18:9.) for surely that is how He stood by us when it was unto death and when He had to stand entirely and utterly alone. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpFhS0dAduc
Text: http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1032-27,00.html

Spring has arrived!

Spring has fianlly arrived! Two experiences have brought this beautiful phrase into full force in my little universe. First, baseball season has begun! Ever since I was six years old, not a spring goes by that I do not start to get excited for the impending season. Even the years where I don't have the time to watch the games I'd like or play like I want, just knowing that the games are going on and that the sport is being played by someone somewhere in the world makes me smile. Baseball helps to make the world go round in my universe. In honor of this start, my little brother and I went and played catch and hit the ball around at the park. What a glorious feeling i could not even begin to describe. And I won't, for I might be thought to need some serious help with my love of baseball. But a fun side note, as we're fielding for each other, another player steps onto our "field." A big black and white collie of sorts comes running onto our "field" and starts fielding with my brother. This particular dog was a stunningly gorgeous collie AND was an excellent fieldsman. It was fabulous to have a third player that LOVED to chase the ball.

The second experience came when I was on a drive earlier this week. The blue, blue sky was showing, with just a few hints of white, fluffly clouds. A nice cool breeze (not the whipping, freezing ones we've experienced off and on lately) blew through my hair as I drove with the window rolled down. I wore sunglasses and flip flops in a combo I have so sorely missed. To top it off I listened to Colbie Caillat (and don't say a thing- it is my female prerogative to listen to a few songs like this from time to time), with the image of the beach rolling through my mind. Despite all my frustration with the job hunt and lack of progress in my world, I felt like the world was set aright at that moment. Spring is finally here!